I have been fat since the third grade. I am the youngest of 6 children, and I am the youngest by 8 years. I was treated like an only child (only I had several other role models around who loved to eat). I was very difficult to please when it came to food; I would rarely eat anything healthy. Why should I? Both my parents worked so I was home most of the time for a couple hours after school -- unsupervised. My mother would make sure I had breakfast, but I would often skip lunch and spend the money on candy on the way home from school. This also meant I was often very hungry after school. I would get home and eat a whole package of crackers with peanut butter or regular butter while I watched cartoons. There were always snacks in the house (mostly because I went shopping with my mom and would talk my mom into purchasing the snacks for me). My father worked for a local Pepsi distributor, so there was always soda in the house as well.
This was in the 70's. The only reason to avoid snacks back then was because the sugar would cause cavities. It wasn't until the late 70's when there started to be a fitness movement here in thee U.S. I was in the fifth grade when my teachers got together a bunch of us fat kids and started a fitness group after school. Now as I said, this was only the beginning of the fitness craze, and nutrition and health education was in its infancy. There was a lot of advice coming from all different directions. A lot of it would sound ridiculous by today's health standards, but it was all we had to go by.
I was fairly active as a child. I walked to school every day; I had physical education classes that were very rigorous; I was in tae kwan do for a little while; I worked on my brother's pop truck for a summer; I would exercise intermittently throughout my childhood. Even though I was involved in all this, I had no nutritional sense.
I was fat until my senior year of high school. At the end of my junior year I was in a dance program every day for a few months. Having that activity and being around girls all the time gave me the will power I needed to lose weight. I became strong and healthy. I dropped ten inches off my waist and didn't have to shop at the fat man's stores anymore. I felt great! My senior year was awesome. I had a girl friend; I got to wear cool clothes; I felt great. But once I achieved my goal, I fell back into my old habits and eating the comfortable foods that I have grown up loving.
I loved food so much that I went to cooking school so we could spend more time together. I remained fat, but was still very active. Cooking is hot, and there is a lot of physical activity. I worked for several years in the restaurant business until I worked myself into a position where I could create recipes for a small restaurant chain. With a combination of limited activity and trying new foods all the time, I went from 290 lbs to 370 lbs in less than 2 years. When the chain broke up and I went back to work as a restaurant manager, I dropped a little weight for about a year.
In 2000 the restaurant I was working for went belly up. I decided to quit the restaurant business go back to college. I worked in manufacturing for about 4 years and walked to school to keep my weight constant around 340 lbs. I tried a popular no-carb diet that worked for a little while, until I ended up in the emergency room with a diverticulitis. I was in a tremendous amount of pain, and decided that I needed a more balanced diet. It wasn't until the holidays that year that I really lost my head. I got my taste for sugar back, and I didn't want to let go.
When I quit my manufacturing job in 2004 to sit in front of a computer all day as a software engineer, I started to balloon up quickly. So in January 2005 I entered a weight loss program where I lost 40 lbs by March. I was feeling pretty good about myself. The diet was difficult to maintain. There were only a few things I could eat, and my family was not supportive at all. It wasn't long before I got tired of preparing two dinners every night so that my children would eat. It also didn't help that they would buy party foods nearly every weekend, but my resolve was strong and I really wanted to lose weight. That's when things got frusterating. Even though I was still sticking to the diet, I stopped losing weight for a couple months. Then I started gaining again. I couldn't take it. The conversation in my head went something like this: "I can eat what I want and gain weight." And that is what I did.
Now I am 40 years old. I have a wife and 4 children. most of us struggle with weight problems. I am currently on the fat man trifecta: blood pressure medicine, acid reflux medication, and blood sugar medication. My knees hurt from supporting all this weight, and I have sleep apnea. I have looked into surgery but I have found out something about myself. You see, these surgeries will keep me from being hungry, but if I stopped eating when I was full, I wouldn't be so fat. No I realize now that I am addicted to food. I will need real support and self motivation if I am going to break this addiction.
I may have found my motivation. I now weigh 415 lbs. I have a kidney stone that is about the size of a hazelnut that frequently causes great pain. I met with my urologist on this week and he said I needed to lose 150 pounds before they can do anything but risky surgery to break up the stone. Coincidentally, I had already committed to attend a meeting for a new weight loss programs that practically guarantees dramatic weight loss. I feel like this is my last hope. I believe I am in a place where I can do it this time. I haven't found real pleasure in food for a long time; I need something that is simple and tastes "good enough," and I believe I have found it; I have the support of my family this time (hopefully); I work for a company that puts a great deal of emphasis on health.
I am so confident that this is the time that will be the one, that I am starting it during the holidays. Monday, December 1, 2008 is the day when it all starts for me. I am going to keep track of my progress here. Pray for me or wish me luck (whatever is more comfortable for you).
