This is the hard part

Except for my junior year of high school, this has been the longest I have stayed with any weight loss program. It is so hard now. I haven't had a perfect day in a long time (a perfect day is any day where I stick to the plan without cheating). Perhaps "feeding the monster" wasn't such a good idea (see post "Feeding the Monster"). I think it just made the monster stronger.

I still commit every day to give 100%, but there is so much temptation everywhere. Since I weighed in on Wednesday I have had something that I gave into every day. Wednesday I had to work late to meet a deadline. My wife asked me to go to Fred Meyers to pick up a prescription for her. When I got there, I saw the rack of chips. I was already stressed out from working 12 hours straight, so I bought a small bag of Doritos and had it in a salad.

On Thursday, my team at work got doughnuts for meeting our deadline. They were Albertson's doughnuts, so I wasn't really tempted. As I sat in meetings all day and got hungrier and hungrier, however, I gave in to the monster. Later that night we had friends over and had tortilla soup. The soup itself is pretty healthy, but the cheese and chips that go on it are not. When everyone went to bed I ate about half a bag of with refried beans.

Yesterday, Friday, my wife and kids decided to get take out. I got the Kung-pao chicken which is okay on my plan, but a couple of my kids got pizza. They only ate half of it and then everyone but me left for the evening - leaving me home alone with half a pizza and a bag of garlic bread. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

To make a long story short, this is the hard part of any weight loss program. When I know what I have to do, but my short term thinking that got me to this point, quite literally, takes control. I know that there are those who would say that all I need is more "will power," and I would love to say to those people that they are full of crap. The truth is, however, they are right. I could say no to those things, but I don't. I hope I can learn to say no to myself and learn to keep commitments to myself like I do for everyone else.